A great pun is like a great digital marketing campaign: If you do it right, it will stick with people until they’re compelled to share it — even the simplest ones require a level of sophistication to make and to appreciate. Every marketer I know is incredibly smart — whether it’s my team at TopRank Marketing, the influencers and thought leaders we work with, or the folks I’ve met at marketing conventions. Marketers are sharp, detail-oriented, intellectually rigorous, and susceptible to flattery. So, if you’re a smart digital or content marketer, take a break from your challenging, rewarding work and enjoy these jokes. And remember: If your colleagues don’t laugh, they’re just not as sophisticated as you.
20 Dumb Jokes for Smart Marketers
1. Q: Why did Dracula add the Creature from the Black Lagoon to his marketing team?
A: A-COUNT based marketing…at scale! 2. I made a joke about organic reach on Facebook… nobody got it. 3. My marketer friend quit and started a bakery. I tried to walk in the door and this big swatch of fabric popped up and blocked my way! I backed up; it disappeared. I walked forward, big cloth thing in the way again! “Hey,” I shouted at my friend, “I can’t get in!” “Oh, sorry,” she says, “You have to click on the banner to accept cookies.” 4. I hired an earthworm, a centipede and a millipede to do my email marketing. They’re really good at segmentation. 5. I’ve been retweeted a couple times by Altimeter Group — but I take little Solis in that fact. 6. I’m doing content marketing for a cheese company. We’re creating blog posts and a few grated assets. 7. I like to run all my AB tests in reverse after the first round. I call it AB/BA testing. It’s great, but only works if your target audience are dancing queens, young and sweet, only 17. 8. I have this marketer friend who still believes in last-touch attribution. He just opened a brick-and-mortar store. He says his highest-performing sales rep is the counter in front of the cash register. 9. Knock, knock!
Documented content marketing strategy!
Documented content marketing strategy who?
I’m not surprised you didn’t recognize me… Joe Pulizzi was right. 10. I nicknamed my cat “The Vast Majority of Social Media,” because he doesn’t like me, follow me, or share anything. 11. And I nicknamed my dog “Number of Twitter Followers,” because he doesn’t pay the bills but he makes me feel important. 12. How many CRO experts does it take to change a light bulb?
100 the first time, 98 the second time, 93 the third time, 104 the fourth time, 25 the fifth time…. 13. I handed Scott Brinker my iPhone and he scratched it! Then he picked up my tablet and scratched it, too! He even put a dent in my Google Home! I said, “Scott, what are you doing?” He said, “What I do best: mar tech!” 14. Knock, knock!
Brand standards who?
Sorry, knock-knock jokes don’t fit our mission and purpose statement. Could you tell this as a light bulb joke instead? 15. I’ve lined up Scooby-Doo, Rin Tin Tin, and Lassie for my latest eBook. I call it influencer barketing. We don’t have signed contracts, but we shook on it. 16. Have you heard about the tech startup trying to disrupt honey marketing? They go on and on about the “authenticity” of their bees and their “next-generation bleeding-edge hive.” If you ask me, it’s all buzzwords. 17. I’m trying to get in shape, so every time I schedule a post on social media, I do ten push-ups. I’m already getting Buffer. 18. So a social media marketer lost his job and went to work on a farm. He worked hard, but had one weird quirk: every morning, he would do a belly flop into the hog trough! After a few days, the farmer had enough. “You city folks sure are strange,” the farmer said. “Why are you always floppin’ headfirst into the pig slop?” “Sorry, force of habit,” the social media marketer replied. “I’m trying to make an impression in your feed.” 19. Jokes about amplification are only funny if everyone gets them. 20. Hey, pirate marketer, do you have trouble proving that your campaigns generate revenue?
“Arr! Oh, aye.”
Great Marketing Is No Joke
I said up top that great puns and great marketing campaigns have a lot in common. Here’s one important difference: A joke is a single discrete unit, meant to score a laugh and then vanish so the next joke can hit. Marketing campaigns work best when they’re an always-on, sustained effort that builds a relationship. So, you should use creativity, humor and even wordplay in your marketing. But don’t just toss out individual jokes and expect them to do the heavy lifting. For example, I wrote ten puns just last week for a client, hoping at least one of them would go viral. Unfortunately… No pun in ten did. Ready for more laughs? Fear not. We got ’em.